Chapter 1: The Waltz of the Teas
Chapter 1
The Waltz of the Teas
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Our journey begins in the Food Hall at Piccadilly, as all manner of delicious things spring to life at Fortnum's, just in time for Christmas...


It was Christmas Eve, a little before midnight, and all Piccadilly was quiet and still. Well, almost all.
Downstairs, in a quiet spot on the Lower Ground Floor between the still-slumbering Stiltons and the gossiping bottles of Champagne and Mulled Cider, Christmas is coming to life — and an annual adventure is about to begin.
“First time?" said the Scotch Egg, peering over the top of his glasses.
"Yes and I'm very excited," said the Kea Plum. "But isn't it supposed to have started by now?"
"Technically," said a tall tin of Merrilossus, who had wandered over to join the conversation. "But that's the teas for you: always waiting until the anticipation reaches...boiling point."
A chuckling Christmas Pudding appeared beside the group. He brushed an errant breadcrumb back into perfect position on the Scotch Egg's head: "You've somehow out-cheesed the Stiltons with that one, Merri. Speaking of which—"
But before anyone could make the move to shake the pots from their sleep, a tinkling sounded in the distance. It came from somewhere out of sight, up near the top of the spiral staircase.
It stopped in an instant. And then, darkness fell. With the candles still waiting a floor or two away, nobody — not the Scotch Egg or Kea Plum, not Merri or The Pudding, and certainly not the somehow still dozing Stiltons — could see a thing.
At once, a single spotlight landed on the bottom step of the stairs, where a caddy of Christmas Blend Tea stood with arms aloft in triumph. Her gilded outfit glinted and sparkled.
"Is she wearing a top hat?" asked the Kea Plum.
A loud yawn sounded in the puzzled plum's ear: "Blimey, is it Christmas already?" asked a bleary-eyed Stilton. "Where's my lid?!"
"Where it always is: atop your tête, mon ami," said a bottle of Champagne, who was stretching athletically.
Then the Christmas Tea's voice boomed out a loud greeting: "My sweet friends! My fellow refreshments! My delicious, feast-seeking siblings! Are you ready?"
But the question went unanswered, just as was planned. An unseen orchestra of trumpets and glockenspiels and marching drums filled the air with music in 3/4 time, and on the step behind the ringleading caddy, a Musical Biscuit Tin twirled a conductor's baton with abandon.
The Kea Plum asked: "So when do we—?"
But before he could finish, he was part of the waltz: a little morsel of magic amid the smiling Cerisettes, the singing Christmas Hams, a pint-sized pink elephant and a Mince Pie or three. The music grew louder as the merry band made its way to the Ground Floor above.
And as the procession continued on its scheduled route towards the red carpeted stairs, 36 hooves were anxiously treading the air over our Piccadilly roof...
Shop the Stars of the Story
CHRISTMAS SPICED STILTON ● CHRISTMAS BLACK TEA ● CHRISTMAS SCOTCH EGGS ● MERRILOSSUS BISCUITS ● FORTNUM'S CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS ● THE CHAMPAGNE GIFT BOX ● MULLED CIDER WITH ENGLISH CASSIS

